Just to reiterate - if anyone is feeling down or suicidal, we have Lifeline here who you can talk to, and you can reach out to your doctor who can refer you to a counselor or a psychologist. There is no shame in it at all, and I have used those services all throughout my life. Often just talking to someone older, and more knowledgeable, allows you to put things into perspective, so that you can develop a plan to move forward.
Often your emotions during that point are so heightened that you cannot see any possible escape, and it’s overbearing. But when calm yourself down, your thoughts begin to gather again. You cannot see that as a possibility in that moment of course, but once you calm down, things tend to make more sense. A good sleep, and a chat with someone you trust, will make the world of difference.
You can always improve your situation. And I know I can.
Lifeline - 0800 543 354 or text HELP (4357) - this is a 24/7 service - sometimes you have to try a few times to get through as they get overwhelmed.
https://www.mentalhealth.org.nz/get-help/in-crisis/helplines/